Tuesday, January 6, 2009

So This is the New Year

So, how about this 2009? It doesn’t seem much different yet, but I always think that. I had a wonderful time in Sydney with my parents over the holidays. Believe me, I’d like to tell you everything we did. But those of you who know my Dad are probably aware how he packs as much sightseeing and activities he can into one vacation, using the guidebook as his personal Bible. If The Book deem it not worthy, thou must not partake and insteadith goeth somewhere involving much wearing down of thine sandals. The bottoms of my feet had bruises on them from walking so much. I practically have hobbit feet, so how I managed to bruise my thick soles is a mystery to me. And then when I said goodbye at the airport, my soul was bruised... Awwww, lame quasi-pun. But I was sad, especially since it was great having them as company again.

Now I’m back to Apartment 404 (which I like to call ‘404 ERROR!’), where I have no idea if I’m the only one still here. The Spanish girl moved out the day I left for Sydney and a lot of the Chinese girl’s stuff is gone. I thought the latter was staying for several more months, so it’s an absolute mystery. At first I was a bit freaked out, thinking maybe she was secretly a spy and had to flee, or maybe she had a heart attack in her room and now there's a dead body in her locked room I won't know about until I start to smell it decomposing. I need either Hercule Poirot or a Worry Hat. All I know is that she took the toaster, which we split the cost for. If I ever see her again, I am filing for custody. She doesn’t even use it, she neglects it and denies it love! *sob* I had to fry my bread this morning, it’s not the saaaame!

Unusual attachments to lost appliances aside, it’s a bit nice having the whole place to myself. I’m free to have my own little dance party in the living room and sell off the books Spanish flatmate left behind. But once again, I miss my Dad’s nerdy jokes and classic Mom statements such as, “Lizards run like a girl” and "You think he's cute?! But he's all... mincey!" Hell, right about now I wouldn’t even mind repeating the night of New Years Eve. It’s my absolute most dreaded of holidays, more than Valentines Day (because with that you at least get candy) and I’ve loathed it for several years. Despite having to stand around for about six hours in a huge crowd (another thing I’m not a fan of) while Dad herded us to ensure we get ‘the best view of the fireworks,’ I was glad to be there with my parental units. That was one of the first things I thought in 2009, along with, “Oh, please don’t start smacking people!”

This was in reference to the two Flavor of Love rejects (one wearing a ‘Sargent Sexy’ pleather getup and the other in a Playboy Bunny type of costume) standing near me who butted their way through the crowd half an hour before midnight and flirted with an old man to secure a place to stand. One woman yelled at them and it was a sass-fest for the rest of the night. It was pretty ridiculous, but then again, in 2008 the first thing I said was, “Hap-AUUUGH!” because my friend Paige tackled me and in 2007 I think I said, “Woo 2006! Wait...” The first thing I actually vocalized in 2009 was singing along to ‘Use Somebody’ by Kings of Leon, which is my idea of a perfect way to celebrate (as I drowned out the sound of “GET OWT MAH FACE, YOU JUST JEALOUS WE’RE SEXY AND NOT SHORT, UGLY YOU! SHUT UP ‘FORE I MAKE YOU MAH FIRST ENEMY OF THE YEAR!”).

Here’s to the ninth anniversary of millions thinking we were all going to die because of a computer error that never happened! Yay.

1 comment:

Unknown said...

I found your affection for your toaster pretty hilarious!
Will be stopping by your blog again soon.Cheers!